


Baby, Keep Your Eyes On Me

by ziri_unnie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-18 14:54:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11876889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziri_unnie/pseuds/ziri_unnie
Summary: i dont know what the FUCK im doing and this is probably gonna suck but ill do it anyways... so buckle up bc sicheng is in for an adventure when he finds out TY shares some of his interests ;)





	1. it's probably nothing

Sicheng has always been the cute one. His image on every variety show is sweet and innocent. That’s just how it always was for Sicheng. He doesn’t exactly mind it, he just wishes someone could know how he really is. He can be sweet and cute at times but he’s almost twenty years old and he kinda wants to be treated like the adult he is. 

Lately he’s been getting frustrated with the members and he feels so bad but he just wants someone to understand. To top it all off he's been getting increasingly insecure that maybe he isn't on par with the other members. He doesn't get lines very often and he’s never in the front on stage. He feels lonely sometimes. 

The past few weeks have been busy, with the Cherry Bomb comeback and promoting and spending lots of his time in the practice room trying to feel like he’s doing enough… Sicheng is exhausted. 

Last night a sleepy Taeyong came into the practice room around midnight. 

“Sicheng what are you doing? It’s almost midnight.” he yawned as he leaned against the mirror. He eyed Sicheng up and down before shooting him a concerned look. 

“I’m just practicing for the stages this week. I-I uh… don’t want to make any mistakes.” fuck. He was trying to act nonchalant. Panicking, Sicheng grasps for any excuse so Taeyong won’t worry. “I just wanted to brush up on the choreography.. It’s nothing, hyung.”

Taeyong purses his lips and furrows his brows. Shit, Sicheng thinks Taeyong is about to go all mom on him or ask if he wants to talk and Sicheng would normally be grateful but not with Taeyong. For the past few weeks every time he gets near Taeyong his heartbeat speeds up and he can hear blood rushing in his ears. 

So, Sicheng pushes down every urge to move closer, to say something, to reach out. Keeping his growing feelings hidden as well as trying to keep himself sane with the busy schedules is a balancing act not even the most skilled gymnast could master. 

And Sicheng is so close to just giving in and telling Tae everything. So close. But instead he just forces a small smile before shifting his glance to his shoes. 

After a long sigh, Taeyong speaks again, “Just.. please make sure to get enough sleep. I don’t want you getting sick with all these schedules. Okay?”

“Sure, hyung.” There’s so much more Sicheng wants to say but he isn’t sure if he could keep from screaming or crying or both. He doesn’t want Taeyong to think he’s pathetic. 

But that was last night, and now Sicheng is feeling guilty and nervous as stylists cover up his dark under eye circles and dress him for the morning’s performance. He smiles for the behind the scenes camera and makes sure to greet all the members and act as normal as possible. But Sicheng can feel normal slowly slipping away as he falls deeper into this weird unknown. 

He used to love performing, and he still does. But now, as soon as he steps offstage he worries if it was enough, if he had enough expression and did all the moves right. 

Sicheng is drifting in and out of sleep in the van on the drive back to their dorms. He can make out the quiet conversation between Donghyuck and Yuta in the seat behind him. 

“I’m worried about him, I don’t think he’s sleeping enough.” Donghyuck whispers. 

Sicheng feels a shiver rush up his neck but he stays completely still, pretending to be asleep.

“Aish, I am too. Does he seem unhappy to you too? I want to talk to him about it but I don’t want to push him…” No, no don’t worry Yuta I’m fine. 

Sicheng can’t listen anymore, guilt eating him alive. He ‘wakes up', yawning and stretching a little. “Oops, how long have I been asleep?” he turns around to ask the boys behind him. 

“Not too long hyung, will you play games with me after dinner?” Donghyuck gives him those fucking puppydog eyes and he can’t refuse. Donghyuck knows he’s cute and he uses it against all the members, he abuses his role as the maknae. Bastard. 

Seated on the couch before bed, Sicheng is winning another round of Mario Kart. He enjoys himself in this moment, not worrying about what’s next. That’s partly why he loves spending so much time with Donghyuck, his energy is so refreshing and less serious and adult-y. He wants to be treated his age but he’s torn between maturity and fun. He chooses fun most nights when he plays games with Donghyuck or they go get ice cream or sodas.

After a few too many rounds, Sicheng stands up to go to his room. 

“Hyung..” Donghyuck sounds like he’s unsure if he should keep talking. Sicheng gives him a look and sits with him on the couch. Donghyuck takes a breath before speaking again. “Are you okay? You’ve been acting different lately and I just want to make sure you’re okay because you could always talk to me if you wanted to or if you-”

This is his chance. He could talk to Donghyuck.. He trusts him and Donghyuck knows him better than most of the members. Sicheng thinks hard about it, and this seems better than the alternative; continuing with his nervous, sleepless nights. 

He takes a deep breath and shifts his gaze to the floor. “I-I uh, um… I’ve been feeling bad lately. It’s just that I don’t get very many vocals, which is okay really, but I just feel like maybe… like I-I’m not good enough to be in this group.” His fingers are shaking now, so he clasps them together and tries to keep his tears in. 

“Hyung… Of course you’re meant to be here. You work so hard and you have so much talent and energy.” he scoots closer and gives Sicheng a hug. And that’s all it takes before he’s sniffling. 

He feels kinda stupid crying and sniffling in front of Donghyuck. He’s supposed to be the hyung and be strong and a role model or whatever. But right now, Sicheng just wants someone to take care of him and tell him he’s going to be okay. 

He savors the affection from Donghyuck as if he’s never been hugged before and never will again. He didn't realize how starved he felt from all the members. He was touchy with the members on variety shows and always bothered them and joked with them. He hadn't even realised how long it had been since he was his old self. Sicheng wonders how he let himself get so messed up.

“Thanks, Donghyuck. I’ll come talk to you more, then. I don’t want to make all the members worry… you know? So let’s just keep this between us for a while.” He looks up finally and feels a twinge of warmth because he knows Donghyuck truly cares for him. 

In bed, Sicheng stares at the ceiling for a long time. He doesn’t know what to do. He thinks about Taeyong a lot. HE wants to say something, to reach out. Maybe he can just try and go back to his old self and be playful with all the members. If he spreads his affection out evenly nobody will notice. Sicheng tells himself that this fantasy of Taeyong is just that. He dreams of Tae that night, all smiles and kindness.


	2. "how do you feel about Korean food?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hahahahaa Yuta knows sicheng too well? idk sorry this is still a MESS

Yuta was acting weird during their morning practice. Not that Yuta isn’t usually weird… but he seems to be glancing at Sicheng more often than usual. The two used to be inseparable when they debuted. Both were foreigners and although Yuta knew Korean much better than Sicheng, it still seemed like they were in the same boat. They bonded so well because they both felt a tiny bit as if they didn’t fit in. But NCT is all about becoming worldwide and what better way than to include members from multiple Asian countries. 

“Yuta, why do you keep looking at me?” Sicheng asks him in the middle of lunch with the members. 

“What? I wasn’t... “ Sicheng knows Yuta is frantically trying to conjure up a sassy remark. Sicheng just smirks.

 

“Ah... Yuta keeps looking my way, what should I do?” he uses his aegyo voice and pretends to pout. He hears giggles from Donghyuck and Doyoung while Yuta seems entertained.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” he rolls his eyes at Sicheng and the boy just laughs. 

He’s been feeling a bit better, after talking with Donghyuck he decided it would be best for the other members if he was happier. When Sicheng stresses and doesn’t sleep much, he worries he bothers the other members. He decided it’s better for everyone if he tries to take care of himself. 

But Yuta seems suspicious of something, and Sicheng is determined to find out. 

That’s sounds to Sicheng like a later problem. The afternoon schedules includes an episode of a cooking show. This is one of those golden opportunities to get close to Taeyong. He plays up his cute image and bothers all the members about this and that, while touching them and hugging them. It’s his fan service in a way. He’s seen posts about fans loving his playful affection with other members. 

So once the stylists have finished touching up his hair and set him loose, he heads over to Yuta and Taeyong. “Annyeong,” he drapes an arm around Yuta and beams at Taeyong. How can he hold back a smile when Tae is around? It seems like his leader just radiates sunshine. 

“Sicheng, how do you feel about Korean food? I heard this episode has something to do with food…” Taeyong fiddles with his hair while glancing at Sicheng. 

“Does it matter what kind of food? But I love Korean food, braised pork is the best. I hope we get to eat a lot today.” he turns to Yuta and almost laughs at his expression. “Yuta are you excited to eat spicy Korean food?” he leans in closer and Yuta laughs and pushes him away.

“I’ll eat anything, you know that.” he jokes. 

“How can you just throw me away like this? I thought we had a real connection, but fine I’ll just talk to Taeyongie instead.” SIcheng pretends to pout as he scoots over to Taeyong and wraps him in a side hug. Taeyong laughs and ruffles his hair, Sicheng is sure everyone can hear his heart beating faster. 

Taeyong smells good, and he’s warm too. He gives off this darker, angsty stage aura but in reality he’s a softie. Variety shows like these are always fun for Sicheng because everyone can be their everyday selves.

“Ya, your Korean is getting a lot better.” Taeyong says to him, Sicheng spots a producer waving them over towards the rest of the group. He almost sighs, he’d rather stay here next to Taeyong, soaking in this moment. 

“Thanks, hyung… I’ve been practicing,” Sicheng feels his ears go a little red, he gets embarrassed that he has to practice the language as if he’s still a schoolkid. But it’s better than feeling confused and asking people to translate all the time. 

“I think it’s time to start filming now,” Yuta says, and just like that Sicheng’s glimpse of fantasy is gone. 

Moments later, they’re all lined up awaiting their fate for the day. “To the world! Here is NCT!” they all bow together before clapping. Sicheng is excited at the prospect of food. 

Cooking is not what he had in mind. He just wanted to eat the food, not prepare it. And now he’s stuck with a recipe for a dish he made once before. ‘Made’ is an overstatement. He watched other members show him how to cook it on NCT Life and helped eat it afterwards. Taeyong did most of the work. Sicheng has a feeling he needs to do a lot of aegyo today. \

\--

“Wahh… What do I do?” Sicheng looks to the camera for help. He looks back down at the pot in his hands and then at the ingredients. He had googled a recipe on his phone before the show started. He had also said something stupid to a camera like, “Taeyong, I’m no fool. I’ll make this dish better than you taught me.” 

Why? Why did I say that? Sicheng looks around the room for the least busy member. Instead of bothering Doyoung as he waits for water to boil, Sicheng makes a beeline for Taeyong. 

“Hyungggg….” he draws it out as he slides next to Taeyong. His dish looks and smells really good. Too bad Sicheng has no idea how to start his. This would have been great to impress his crush but knowing his luck he gets stuck trying to cook beef on TV. 

“Yeah?” he doesn’t look up from the bowl of vegetables he’s sprinkling seasoning onto. 

“Uh, well I uh…” way to go Sicheng. 

This time Taeyong looks up. He gives Sicheng this pitiful look and then laughs a little. “I thought I heard you saying you were gonna make it even better than I did on NCT Life. What happened to that ambition, huh?” Sicheng’s eyes widen, and he fake pouts.

“So cruel of you Tayeong,” he nudges Taeyong over and over while giving him puppydog eyes. “Will you help your favorite Chinese boy cook some beef?” he bites his lip waiting for a response. 

“If I wasn’t the leader… I swear,” he jokes and Sicheng jumps up and down before bear hugging Taeyong. He’s learned to ignore all the cameras for the most part and to just enjoy himself. 

The afternoon is fun for Sicheng. He always liked watching variety shows as a kid, so it’s no surprise he enjoys being on them. He loves spending time with all the members, especially having an excuse to bother Taeyong more than usual. 

His beef turned out horribly, but Sicheng didn’t mind. He presented it proudly before adding, “Taeyong helped me a lot.”

“Don’t tell them that!” Taeyong laughs and jokingly scolds Sicheng. Sicheng’s heart flutters and warmth blooms in his chest as he admires Taeyong’s perfect crescent smile. How did he end up in the same group as Taeyong? It feels like Taeyong can do just about everything. He dances, raps, sings, he’s the leader, and he takes care of the members. And now he can cook. 

Sicheng snaps out of it just in time, as the chef winces after his first bite. “Aigoo, I may have overcooked it a little.” Sicheng admits, scratching the back of his neck. He catches Taeyong smiling at him out of the corner of his eye. 

If only there could be more times like this. 

\--

After dinner, Yuta and Sicheng are seated on the couch in a mess of limbs while they eat ice cream and talk about their day. 

But Yuta changes the conversation, and Sicheng is caught off guard. Almost everyone else has gone off to bed, and the dorms are peaceful.

“What’s bothering you? I could tell, the past couple weeks you’ve been… off.” Sicheng gulps at what Yuta just said. His glance shifts to the carpet. 

“Do you want me to be honest?” Sicheng looks up to see Yuta staring at him already, eyes wide open. 

“Of course,” Yuta responds instantly.

“I don’t know, it’s just that l-lately I’ve been worried and stressed. I worry I’m not good enough for this group. I know we’re both foreigners and whatever but you get lines in most of the songs. I barely get to sing and I want to be here it just sometimes feels like I’m always playing catchup.” Sicheng shrugs and bites his lip. He trusts Yuta more than any of the members. Yuta knows him the best. He used to tell Yuta everything. 

“Sicheng,” he sounds disappointed almost. Sicheng can’t look up now, he can feel tears pricking at his eyes. “Sicheng you belong here. You were a trainee for like a year, that’s not a long time. I’m sure the producers want to make sure you feel ready for all of this. All of us know how talented and hardworking you are. Don’t think for another second that you’re not good enough for this, you are more than good enough.” 

“I know you’re right but I just couldn’t convince myself of that. I spent a lot of time in the practice room late at night practicing dances. I didn’t want to mess up while promoting. I just want to prove that I can do this, not to everyone else I guess but more to myself.”

“I know it’s hard to be a foreigner, and you know you always have me to count on.” Yuta stands up, his empty bowl in hand. He holds out his other hand for Sicheng. 

Sicheng takes it and stands up, being pulled into a hug. “Thanks, hyung.” he says, letting out a long breath he didn't know he had been holding in. 

“C’mon drop the honorific shit with me, you know I don’t care about that.” he says and Sicheng laughs. "And stop crying, I almost feel obligated to give you more ice cream." he teases. 

“You remember when I was first learning Korean and I used honorifics with, like, everyone?” he says and smiles at Yuta’s annoyed expression. 

“Yes of course I remember because it drove me fucking crazy. Even if I'm two years older... I don’t know why I’m not a fan of honorifics. I just think in this group we’re close enough to not bother with them.” he says as they wash their dishes. 

“And now I only do it to bother you, hyungggg.” Sicheng says, nudging Yuta and laughing. 

“And you use it to get your way with the other members, you punk.” he jokes. “And on your little love interest,” 

Oh, shit. All the alarms go off in Sicheng’s mind, he has no idea how Yuta knows. Has he really been so obvious? 

“What love interest? You know I’m bi but…” he tries to play it off, faking nonchalance. 

“Uh huh sure,” Yuta leans against the counter with his arms crossed over his stomach. “I’m not gonna tell TY. I just think it’s cute, little Sicheng having his first crush, aww” he teases like a bastard sometimes. Most of those times are with Sicheng. 

“You promise not to tell anyone?” Sicheng gives him a serious look, “I’m not joking, I really like him. I swear if you fuck with this I will have your head…” 

“I would never, if anything I’ll be the best wingman a guy could ask for. My Japanese charms can help you out.” he jokes, but Sicheng knows he means well. He trusts Yuta with everything, and this is no exception. 

“I have my own Chinese charms, asshole.” he laughs again and feels a weight lifted from his chest. He’s glad someone knows his feelings and worries. He’s glad he has Yuta to watch over him at times like these.

**Author's Note:**

> so sorry lol


End file.
